Coffee may jump start you, but it works best if you're bored. It increases alertness and enhances performance, but its effects are most pronounced on performance levels that are already low because of boredom.

• You can't rely on it as a diet aid, but caffeine does speed up your metabolism a bit.

• Caffeinism-or coffee nerves-strikes only those who are unaccustomed to high doses of caffeine. Those who are already addicted and are then deprived, suffer irritability, restlessness, lethargy and a headache that doesn't go away for a day or two.

• Only intellectual speed, not power, is increased by caffeine.

• Besides the caffeine and methyl in your coffee, you should also worry about ingesting chlorine from those bleached paper filters. To avoid these use the brown unbleached filters, a French press or invest in one of those reusable gold-plated mesh baskets.

• Everyone knows it and science backs it up; Joe will cause you to have a closer relationship with the John. Caffeine is both a diuretic and a laxative.

•The world looks better when you're wired, at least according to a ten year study done by Kaiser Permanente Hospital in Northern California. The study suggests that caffeine is an anti-depressant, and that 1 to 3 cup a day drinkers are 30% less likely to commit suicide that non-drinkers, while those of us who drink a pot a day are 80% less likely, but the truth is, we're just too busy to end it all.

• Despite rumors current among latte lovers aside, espresso doesn't not contain less caffeine than other types of coffee. It's just that it is served in one or two-ounce demitasse cups, versus the regular 150ml. cups. Every 30 grams of espresso contains about 40-50ml. of caffeine, so that a 750ml. espresso would weigh in at a whopping 200-250ml.

• The cheaper the coffee, the bigger the kick. I know your coffee dealer won't agree, but measure to measure, a cheap cup-o-joe will actually contain up to 25% more caffeine than fancy designer brews. That's because cheaper coffee is made from the stronger robusta beans, and the boutique kavarny use the expensive arabica beans.

As for taste, well, why do you think god invented sugar and cream?